Transform Your Mindset: Unlock the Power of Neutrality
What if you arrived at a place where everything that happened to you; every conversation, situation, or experience…was neutral?
Meaning, it’s not good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative, but neutral.
Neutrality is both a fundamental practice in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and a core foundation of Mindfulness, as we learn to practice non-judgment.
I spent many years of my life seeing things as black and white. Terrible or absolutely elating. Therefore, I spent my life on a roller coaster of extreme highs and lows. Either soaring in the heights or down in despair. In all honesty, it’s an addicting cycle, but not one that’s sustainable or deeply nourishing to your mind, body, and soul. In fact, it’s quite depleting and I believe at the root of what causes many of us to lose touch with our inner selves and move towards disease and dysregulation. Many of us get caught in this cycle though, things are either fantastic, and going our way, or things are tough and working against us. “When it rains it pours” as the old adage goes.
Alan Watt’s, the great philosopher and astute speaker, writer, and poet, spoke on this topic in one of his lectures and it really resonated with me. The story goes;
Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away.
That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate.
They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away.
This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild
Horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said,
”Oh, isn’t that lucky? What a great turn of events.
You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to break one of the
Horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg
The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad, ” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”
The next day the conscription officers came around to enlist people into the army and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg.
Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
Alan understood that things are never really good or bad.
1. Because we can’t see the full picture of where these events and circumstances are leading us to. There’s always a greater plan, and often one we can’t see until later on, or maybe it never reveals itself to us, but life is always working for us whether we can see it or not.
2. If you dig a little deeper, he also reveals to us the idea that there is always a positive and a negative to every situation. It’s just how we look at it. You can always find both, and I think that’s the real work. That work frees us from the extreme high to low cycle and allows us to see and experience life in all its beautiful totality.
3. And finally, allowing ourselves to come to neutral dissipates much of the emotional high or low that comes with circumstances in our lives and allows clarity to come through. It’s like the clouds clearing to reveal a stunning view from atop a mountain, with an abundance of possible paths and resources now laid out before us.
So next time you are hit with one of life’s challenges take a moment to neutralize the situation.
3 Steps to Creating a Healthy Neutral Perspective
First remember that you can see events, conversations, and situations as neutral and it’s you that creates the meaning. This takes practice but will come with repetition.
Recognize that your first perspective is often a subconscious reaction based on years of beliefs and programming, but it can be changed with conscious awareness.
Have a series of questions in your back pocket. Ask yourself these 3 questions;
Is this initial perspective serving me? What states am I entering as a result of this perspective?
What is the lesson I’m being asked to learn here?
How is this [event, conversation, situation] working for me?
In summary, we can come home to the truth that everything we encounter in life is a matter of perspective. You get to choose that perspective, that’s the power we’ve all been given. Choose to see the situation wholly and fully and know it’s always working for you.
Thanks for showing up for yourself today and working to become the best version of yourself possible. Not only for you but for all of those around you. Doing the daily work in small increments makes big shifts over time. Join us as we create a movement of daily mental fitness over in the Self by Design Community.
P.S Are you looking for personalized 1:1 support? Whether it's around mindful parenting, conscious relationships, business, or simply, life in general, an expertly-trained Self by Design Coach is ready to support you. Book your private coaching call here.
Much love,
Nicole
